Man Flu! Beware!

Man Flu

My health is pretty good. I think it’s due to the fact I get bombarded with subversive little pathogens from the moment I enter work, to the moment I leave. Children are like mini science labs with mad scientists busily concocting the latest virus that will send half the population of a nation to bed with one snivelling sneeze. Yes I know a certain someone will laugh (my catch phrase is “I’m feeling tired”) but that’s a product of the job, anyway I digress. Normally a cold just manifests itself as a raw throat for a day, perhaps a light sniffle or painful sinuses, but that’s the sum total of it for a day. Then the next day no problem! But occasionally, just once a year maybe, wham, up sneaks a little bugger of a virus that really wallops me. I don’t bother going to the Doctors anymore. I did 10 years ago when I fist started the job. However it just became a ritual. During the consultation the doctor would look over his spectacles at me turn to my notes and just say “Ah February, 1 week until the holiday? I see yes,” (shuffling of notes) “very common you know. Nothing I can do really, sit it out at home.” And that was it. Quite why I bothered I don’t know.

So wham it hits me. I can already hear women all over the internet saying here we go. A slight runny nose and a few aches in the shoulders and he’s going to have a day off work and retire to his bed. Well I shan’t disappoint anyone as that’s exactly what I did. Along came the aching limbs and ravenous pains that gnawed at every fibre of my being, oh yes and my teeth ached too. The sheets were drenched in cold sweat as my body writhed in agony day and night. My chest was tight like the skin of a drum; my breath was short and gasping. The nights were endless. I stared at the ceiling my throat as dry as sandpaper bereft of any moisture. Oh when would this slight cold end?

I did however enjoy the cricket, after all
England haven’t won many matches on their current tour.


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