what are you afraid of, margarette?

my former boss, who is now a cfo of an american insurance multinational, asked me if i would still consider working with her again.

she was one of the two filipino bosses i take my hats off anytime. there aren’t many of them back here; and i am blessed that i have worked with two who have been instrumental to my career growth.

it is not that i do not like my work right now. and compensation-wise, there is nothing not to like about my work right now. i could travel and take expensive hobbies like scuba diving and still be able to send my siblings to college. i have a superb professional relationship with my boss. i get the job done and garner the recognition i deserve.

and then came her offer.

compensation wise, it was way not competitive to my present job at first glance. but there’s more to a great corporate career than the short-term benefits. i have experiences to prove it. the right companies hire you for your track record; they reward you for what you actually delivered. in the long run, the light at the end of her corporate tunnel shines more brightly for me than the current tunnel i am in right now.

working hours wise, her offer would require me to work like hell in the next twelve months or until we can stabilize the system, whichever comes first. diving might have to be minimized to a bimonthly affair. definitely no long weekend travels to god-knows-where-this-time anymore.

considering these two things alone, you might find it strange that i would even consider her offer.

but i am seriously considering her offer for one simple reason: i have no fucking idea how insurance companies work.

it is an entirely new field for my accounting mind. insurance business is very different from manufacturing, pharmaceutical, distribution, and retail. she told me so. i must also add that added to the fact is that my knowledge base on philippine tax laws is zero (i have been exposed to singapore, thailand, and american tax laws).

but all things can be learned. i had zero-based knowledge on a lot of things before i became really good at them. we all start somewhere somehow.

and yet, even as i am seriously considering her offer, i am very reluctant to let go of my present job. i like to keep it because there is still so much to do there. still so many processes to fix. still so many initiatives to present. i have juggled two jobs once for 6 months; it was one hell of a ride.

i was writing an entry about my addiction a few days back. and this reminded me about it all over again. it is beginning to dawn on me; it was not addiction that i am addicted of. i have a name for it already.

i am addicted to stretching out my limits, to venturing into the unknown, to bordering into what scared the 9-foot shit out of me.

that fact used to thrill me. now, it just frightens me.

i wish david is here. oh, how i wish david is here.


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