everything is illuminated

david is going crazy.

he is the sort of bloke who cannot stay in an enclosed space for an entire day. be it a hotel room or his house. he obviously didn’t know what was coming in this part of the world on a maundy thursday. he was banking on the fact that his first Open Water session with Jai (who was my nitrox instructor) tonight would take care of that. the traffic did him in. and when it was impossible for jai to get back in the metropolis with enough time for the training, david was banking on the fact that the hotel bar would be open.

that did him in, too.

i know how where he is coming from. i once almost went mad myself ages back when i suddenly realized i do not have to work 15 hours a day anymore. suddenly, the day became longer and more dragging and with extra six hours i do not have an idea what to do with.

that was, of course, a different story. but i do see strange things drive people crazy sometimes.

i feel a little guilty with his boredom. if i risked it higher, i would have at least put some decent back up plan somewhere. it sounds rather silly that he should be spending the first four days of his 10-day holiday traveling from ortigas to makati and back. but for some selfish reasons, i didn’t.

oh, well.

the bad thing about carrying on a long distance relationship is that when you both are fortunate enough to be within arm’s length from each other, there is a nagging unspoken pressure to make the best out of it. it has to be extraordinary. activities has to be planned properly. no time must be wasted.

the good thing about us, though, is that– at this point– we do not really care. the days were ordinary. there was a lot of time wasted sleeping and making faces at each other. and the closest planning we did was a day ago when i took out a leaf of the hotel stationery pad and scribbled:

1. get to the shop to fix david’s sunglasses
2. shop for shorts
3. watch a movie
4. have sex oops, make love.
5. get a massage
6. eat filipino food

“you’re robotic.” he told me and grinned, “does that mean lovemaking is being timed?”

“you ask for the plan.” i told him and grinned back.

“you are crazy, miss po.”

“ahhh, aren’t we all at some point?”

i haven’t seen david for a long time. there are times in the last four days’ in-between sleep when i opened my eyes and found him beside me, and it felt surreal and natural at the same time. surreal because there are just people in one’s life whose existence in it illuminates life itself and his presence did. natural because the whole thing was effortless; he was not a missing piece of the puzzle. there was no necessity to mold his sides for fitting. there was no wondrous but unfinished picture that only he as the missing piece can complete. his presence was not a prelude to a completion of reality.

his presence is reality in itself. and there are no incomplete pictures in my life he has to fill.

there is however an ample blank album pages, waiting for the kind of pictures that spells journey and destination at the same time.

like falling in love. and exactly knowing why.

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