perception is reality but we can still turn it around, can’t we?

i am so in trouble.

this, i realized when after days of telling myself i ought to fix my priorities, i still wake up not doing it. i know i am not stupid, but i can really be so stubborn at times.

the worse thing about all this is i can’t even talk about it. well, i am now; but not the way i would want to talk about it.

id want to talk about it with no holds barred because for whatever this is all worth, it might be nothing but a temporary elation. something i can immersed myself into until the point of almost drowning. id want to talk about it with every detail, significant or not, that i may put the facts into paper and see them for what it is: a simple, noncommittal truth tainted by my own twisted perception. id want to talk about it with my heart on my sleeves and my brain on my chest that i may be stripped of all covers to run to in denial because every second does count. now is tomorrow’s past. and that ain’t gonna change anytime soon.

id want to talk about it in a way that it might be understood why this is happening. of why i am scared that this is. and of why i have not seen this coming.

why i am writing in jargons and puzzles now is because inspite of the cockiness and the arrogance i have of always knowing who i am and what i want, i am dead shit scared of what is coming. and if there is an apt name to describe it.

if a message can be found and read between these lines, then please get the right questions asked.


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