destiny and the lines on my palm.

agnes, a former colleague of mine who turned out to be a very good friend, saw me over breakfast today. and in between generous helpings of garlic rice, sunny side up eggs, corned beef and coffee, she took a good look at the lines on my palm.

i am not that sort of person. i do not believe in destiny; life is an ongoing process and is not something that has been written in bold letters in some secret hiding place or stars or palms, even. what happened to my life is not something that has been written out already; otherwise, the author must have one screwed up head.

but deo’s grandfather (nearing 90 years old now) can actually tell you what the colour of your panties are. and he will always be 100% right all the fucking time. i have no explanations of that; but i have seen him do it over and over again. for the fun of it, i did ask him to give me my destiny as he sees it. he refused. deo and i were dating then and i, being deo’s girlfriend, was already considered part of his family. he only read to people he doesn’t consider families. and in those times i was sitting with him do it to our friends, i couldn’t help but be amazed how he always hit the bullseye. he can see your past and your present and i- unbeliever of such shits- couldn’t help but wonder if there is, indeed, truth in it after all.

after agnes proclaimed state of shock with whatever it was she saw while studying my palm, i thought of deo’s grandfather. perhaps, now that i and deo were way over and living our separate lives, perhaps he may consider reading me mine.

but what good is it, anyway? to know your future before you actually get to live it? does it even matter? if it is written and carved on the lines of your palm, does knowing it before hand makes it easier?

agnes did mention today that the lines of one’s palm changes overtime. mine slightly did, she said (she had a good look at it once over breakfast a year ago). so i guess there is no such thing as fixed destiny. wow. i need more than 60 seconds to digest that.

for the fun of it, as i cannot think of any other reason, i asked her what she saw that shocked her. she said there is just too many heartaches imbedded in the lines. now, that is nothing new. i laughed and asked her if she can tell by the lines i am happy these days. because i am happy these days. she didn’t answer it but told me something else instead.

she was gone now. i looked at the lines on my palm and saw branches of of them going in all direction. and from the looks of it, it does look chaotic. but that is all i see, all that i am seeing. i see no heartaches. i see no pains. i see nothing but a very lazy hand that could actually use more work.

it doesn’t matter. there was nothing in my past that i want to change. and nothing about my future that i want laid out.

i am going to learn about it as it comes.

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