can you camouflage a commitment?

a friend of mine was so pissed.

he is dating a girl lately. i haven’t met her yet (hell, i rarely met him anymore) but following his descriptions of her, she is quite a catch. and he could yak on and on and on about her when we get a chance to talk. he would squeeze her name on every topic being talked about, no matter how insignificant or minute the relationship is between her being and the topic discussed.

there was no doubt about it. he was deeply enamored of her, loved her even (this we can argue about for ages. love is such a subjective topic). he was deeply in that state that if he would proclaimed that he married her, you wouldn’t shriek in shock, “you freaking did WHAT???!!!” and would rather congratulate him in glee.

the problem is, we see this happen to him too many times before.

different girl, same attitude.

and the funny thing about the whole thing is, no matter how you remembered him swear that he loved that girl like he never loved anybody before, the latest would erase everyone else before her.

he was pissed because i told him i was giving him a few months to snap out of it. he was insulted that i would have the nerve to give an unsolicited forecast about his lovelife. “you haven’t met her. you cannot say that shit.” he told me.

but oh, i do not have to meet her. i have no doubt she’s amazing as he described her to be. i have no doubt that she loves him as hell, even. i have no doubt that right at this moment, she’s glowing and daydreaming about him. i do not have to meet her to know that in the next few months, he is going to snap out of it.

he is going to snap out of it (ask me in the next few months) because he always does. we had long given up hope that a girl would one day come and make him change. he is dead shit scared of commitment and he doesn’t realize that and that is the problem. he would take a bullet for a girl now and wake up one morning and drive her away. he would do anything for her, anything, freely and declare one afternoon she never put as much effort in the relationship as he does and that he is sick of it.

and because i was being a bitch and he is my friend, i told him all these.

“maybe i should love her less.” he spoked up.

“she would think you are losing interest.”

“this is different. i can tell you this is different. i don’t want to ruin this. and you are not making it easy for me now.” he said. oh well, no good deed goes unpunished.

“what is it that you are afraid of, by the way?” i challenged him.

almost immediately, he answered, “i am not afraid of anything.”

“i was afraid you’re going to say that.” i told him.

whoever she is, i am hoping again that she is the one. if not, i hope when it is all over, it wouldn’t hurt that much.


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