closure? maybe for you.

sometimes, i remember david. without the anger and the pondering. just pure remembrance of who he was and how it was. sometimes, i would wonder afterwards though if i was the worse news between us two. our incapability of picking up what is left of us and turn it into a civil friendship continuously proved disastrous.

“i read your blog. you and zsolt, you are going to make it work.” he told me a couple of days back. “you are happy with him.”

i was happy with him, too. perhaps my anger overshadowed that fact but i was happy with him. i have to mention this now to set things straight because he deserves to know that. it was beautiful until it turned ugly. and sometimes, you know? you wouldn’t really see it coming.

there are things that david did that i did not understand and no matter how i talked it over with jullen or with zsolt or with jesse, i still couldn’t grasp the entire madness of it.

would it have been different if i was less angry?

he said that the best thing that came out of our relationship was the diving (it was my fascination with the sport that got him into it). having been here twice this year for the diving after our break up, it really isn’t that difficult to tell. zsolt did mention it was pretty funny how easy it is now for david to come over when it was all over. i find it ironic; but then, diving doesn’t have anger management issues. that changes the entire picture, you see.

sometimes, i remember david. without the anger and pondering.

and then i think of zsolt. david is right; i am happy with this man. and the better part of it, zsolt trusts and knows that i am.

tell me,” zsolt told me a couple of weeks back. ” i don’t get scared easily.”

sometimes, i remember david. and i wish him well.


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