i went to see a dentist and had an emotional check-up

do you ever have a friend who saves your ass all the time, even on times you did not realize you need saving?

i met chum today. the last time i saw him was during my 26th birthday. and the last time before that was when i was still dating deo. he was the sort of friend that you do not talk to often, or meet regularly at all but the sort of friend who gets a detailed update- no holds barred- on what was and is going on your life when you did actually catch up with each other.

sometimes, i looked back on from the start, the history of our friendship, and wondered how the hell i deserved him. it was like winning a lottery without buying a ticket. and i did not exaggerate when i say this. it was sort of a one-sided friendship, in a way. i cannot remember a time that i had returned a favour or that i have saved him. and although i do know that friendships are solely not created to fill the need of the other, there is always a common ground for dependence and support.

with chum, he was always the giver. never the receiver. and although i have turned out so differently from how i was during high school, every time i see him, it was high school all over again.

we do talk about his life and how different it turned out compared to how he envisioned it before he became a doctor. but for the majority time we were catching up, it was always my affairs that were discussed. is my life more exciting than his? or, was i being my usual selfish self again and in fact drove the meeting to put “me” and “my affairs” as the center of the conversation? or, is this the boundary of our friendship: he gives, i take; he listens, i talk?

“i like him.” he muttered after seeing my holiday photos with zsolt and after hearing how i ended up dating him. “he looks and behaves like…somebody you should be dating.” he paused and chuckled, “how does he find your temper?”

and again, i talked. and talked. and talked. and like how it was in high school, he listened. and listened. and listened.

some things, they never change.


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