take that poison pill for me. but don’t you dare die.

you know why i couldn’t stand reading Romeo and Juliet (watching it even)?

it’s the whole crap about the idea that love conquers all. that nobody else matters more than the one you love. that forsaking and rebelling against those who didn’t weigh as much for the sake of such will not hamper one’s ultimate happiness.

love conquers all my ass.

i couldn’t stand the thought of remembering Shakespeare’s most famous tragedy more so today. and it pisses me to greatest heights. the fact that no matter how i find it really stupid and immature (their love is)- add impractical to that-, i am still chained to the idea that for the good lot of us, love like that (stupid and impractical and immature may it be) doesn’t come by at all.

the silly thing about women is that we are naturally full of contradiction. but then, at the bottom of the haystack lies the same thing: if it HAS to come to such point, we’d like to be the reason he has to take that poison for.

figuratively.

i know it doesn’t make sense. i know it sounds very impractical. but human nature yearns to be recognized, to matter, to feel important.

“whatever.” an acquaintance of mine cried. “i just can’t get girls.”

maybe that is why he is single. sometimes, we are too much of a job to manage. “i do not want to explain myself.” i told him, realizing it is futile then to make him see my point. my point was impractical. my decision was immature. my reaction very silly. but hey, nobody said it wasn’t possible to get hurt by the most absurd reason.

i often times wish i was born a man. it always seem so simple for them. it is either it works or doesn’t. and if i was born a man and understood women the way i do right now (i, being one), a whole lot of guys would be losing girlfriends. but, i am getting ahead of myself.

must i force zsolt to fight for me? what does it matter? i know where we stand. and to quote a common friend of ours, it really is irrelevant. it was beyond zsolt’s control. and it is not the end of the world.

but nobody said we do not get hurt by the most absurd reasons.

“joey,” i called jesse’s ex. “i badly need your help.”

another good thing about being a man, they are not required to ask questions. nobody expects them to ask and they don’t. “fair enough.” he said after i give him a rundown why i was calling him at such an ungodly hour. “just get to melbourne, maggie. we can figure that out.”

why are friendships less complicated?

when all the drama passed last night, zsolt commented, “you have nice friends.”

“amazing friends.” i corrected. “and they are strategically located.”

in fairness to zsolt, it was beyond his control. but for the sake of my sanity, that has to be irrelevant.

even the most logical people- and i really am one of them- get hurt by the most absurd reasons.

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