the “S” key that made zsolt loses his cool.

zsolt scares me when he gets angry. it was his freaking keyboard today. he came home from work yesterday and found the keyboard soaking with rainwater. it wasn’t so clear to me how the rain got past the windows but somehow, he went home and found his laptop wet.

everything was working except that he cannot use the “S” key anymore. somehow, the rain did something to his keyboard and the “S” key stopped working.

he bought an external keyboard today, went home, and found out he purchased one with a PS2 port, not USB. this pisses him some more as his laptop doesn’t have any PS2 port anymore. the weather didn’t make it easier for him, either, Sydney now officially in its summer season. when he finally had it exchanged with a USB one, another problem arose. he cannot make it work. or function.

“is there something i can do to make you feel a little better?” i asked.

“not really.” he answered. fair enough.

“if there i$ $omething that would make me feel better, it would be to throw the laptop at the wall. but then i will lo$e all my data.”

yes, indeed. “that could happen.” i told him, feeling awful every single minute that pass. “you may want to back it up first.” i said, half-jokingly.

he grumbled that it would have been much easier if it was the “X” or the “Z” key that stopped functioning. having no other choice but go back to the shop he bought the keyboard from, he said he was going off again. i told him to bring his laptop with him this time so he can get it all fixed before he leaves the store and save himself the shock or indignation to find out it is still not working.

it scares me when zsolt gets mad. because he doesn’t get mad often. i was always the one who loses “it” and he is always the one who tries to make me feel better.

i am absolutely clueless. how can one make the other feel better in this case? i didn’t want him to get all fired up over a broken keyboard laptop. i can imagine why he is; in fact, if that happened to me, i probably slammed the laptop against my bed already. but although i know it was fair enough that he gets pissed off over that, i didn’t want him to. he is the human epitome of “composure” and “patience”.

i did tell him once i wanted him to lose it with me. because u are never really at home with the person unless you are in your worst behaviour; that is my theory. he reasoned he made all his worst decisions when he is angry and he would rather not really push things to that direction. fair enough, really. i made all my worst decisions when i get hurt and boy, nobody wins when i do.

i hope he gets the external keyboard working when he gets home. and i can keep my toys still and behaving in the pram. in two weeks time (or less than that, really), we will see each other. and i am sure by then, the fights and arguments and silly misunderstanding and helplessness in the last three months will shrink its existence.

nothing beats a real hug.


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