the shrink i can grope and sleep with.

zsolt and i found out that we can be each other’s shrink.

and our psychiatric sessions are usually triggered by him making an honest but nevertheless over-the-board mistake and then me going psychotic about it and then us getting too emotional over it. then we spend the next hour or so going over what just happened, look at our past and discuss it with each other, and then kiss and make up.

this is one psychiatric relationship where it is okay to sleep with each other.

it is cheap, too, mind you. we do not even talk about conflicts over the phone. we seem to find it alright to just talk about it over yahoo or msn (god, are we fucked up or what????). some people find it strange. but then, we were not both normal to begin with.

i like it that i can talk to zsolt about almost anything. i also like the fact that we gossip about other people (so, shoot us if we do). i like it that we ask each other’s opinion about something although half of the time we do not really take it into consideration when we make a decision. i like it that he reads my blog and i look at his photoshopped-enhanced pictures without either of us reminding the other.

i like the fact that we are so different yet almost alike.

in fact, i like this relationship so much it is quite frightening.

“addiction. that is what that is. plain addiction.” a friend of mine rolled his eyes, puffing out nicotine smoke.

“it could also be that i am just transparent. hey, i am always transparent. that is why i don’t get that much friends. i turn people off before they get a chance to discover i can actually be nice.” i disagreed.

“why can’t you moderate yourself? its almost like he was pissing around you to mark his territory without him actually doing it. you’re doing it in behalf of him.” he shook his head. god, don’t you just hate friends sometimes?

later that day, i asked zsolt if he minds i am too transparent with the whole thing. what might be normal for me might not always be normal for him. “its cute.” was his reply and he blew me a kiss.

WTF? i was not expecting any particular tone for his answer but cute wasn’t the adjective i would have thought if i did. but then, that is just me: i overanalyzes things. it drives zsolt crazy but he’s still sticking ’round.

“you know what is so funny?” jullen commented when i told her all these. “it’s a reverse when you guys are physically together.”

seriously. i don’t fucking give a flying rat’s ass about who is more transparent at this point. i am seeing zsolt in less than two weeks time and the analysis and projections and psychiatric wonderings can flash in red, bold letters for all i care.

so, you sure you still want to date someone like me? 🙂

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