“so, how do you find riding on his bike?”

it must have sadden Zsolt somehow (though he tried so much not to show it) that i find the motorbike apparel a fashion killer. generally, i do not really think so. but Lil’s jacket is TOO BIG for me. and for someone who has been wearing open-toed sandals for as long as she can remember (well, maybe 6 or 7 years), the gigantic boots were just horrible.

“she looks like she did this before, eh?” Lee, a good friend of his, chuckled as he saw me dropped my wooden sandals to a plastic bag and took out the gigantic boots and put them on. we just celebrated new year’s eve with him and his wife (very lovely couple and i really was a little guilty and ashamed i fell asleep on their couch- apparently, i do not only fell asleep on my guests, i seem to do it to my hosts too!). anyway, we left their flat at half past one which brought us as to when Lee made that comment.

i saw Zsolt shrugged and grinned. i swear he must have died right there and then for my obvious lack of the “biker’s feel” and ignorance about the entire essence of why bikers have to wear what they wear when they go out for a ride. most of the people i met in his motorcycle circle ask a common question: “so, how do you find riding a bike?”

i find it exhilarating. i like the way it brings us slanting to the ground everytime Zsolt makes a turn. i crack up everytime i see the look of the folks driving their cars when we ride past them while they were queuing up due to the traffic (makes me forget how ridiculous i look in that gigantic boots). i love the way Zsolt is when he is riding his bike; he looks so FUCKING good.

i told them all these so (except the last piece because i don’t really want to give them an impression i was dating their friend for his looks- oh well, it is part of the equation but there is so much more than that!). but then, i also would also drop the bomb how i find the gear/apparel uncomfortable and bulky. that is just me; i cannot lie liking something to make me look good or knowledgeable or cool. i do find the it uncomfortable and for a reason: this is a girl who is all for shorts and sandals, dresses and open-toed shoes, and two piece bikinis. that is the world of clothing i was used to. a safety jacket, a pair of gigantic boots, bike gloves, and a helmet while riding under a 27C or 30C heat of the sun is something very alien and very BIG DEAL for me.

Zsolt knows this all too well because he can read my face. he cannot understand what the fuss was all about but then he does acknowledge how i feel. “this must be really killing you, uh?” he joked one time as he was trying to make Lil’s jacket look perfect for me (the sleeves were long enough i can hide my hands under it. the shoulder cut is almost past the middle of my shoulders and my elbow. and it is just so freaking not my fucking size!). we ended up going to a bike shop and went out from the second one with my newly purchased summer/winter motorcycle jacket. its still a size larger for me but it fits me better. i would have bought new pair of boots but they were way more expensive than the jacket (about $400 or so) and well, it wasn’t really worth it at that point.

during the course of our “rides”, we sometime ride past riders with girls that were wearing a dress and high-heels. i noticed them and wondered why. Zsolt was firm that if we are to use the bike, we have to wear protection (e.g. jackets, boots, gloves, etc). i would take the van over the bike anytime (so i can wear my skirt or my shorts or my dresses and match them with my sandals or my flip flops) but that is really inconsiderate. i know how he loves riding and how he dislike his “shitbox”.

“i don’t want you to lose a leg. these are for protection not for looking good, baby.” he always tell me. i shut up my mouth.

he found me once sitting on the ground fronting his garage while he was preparing the bike. i was about to cry (perhaps it was the hormones, or perhaps i was trying so hard to see the point of it all). “baby? we can take the van.” he said.

why am i doing this? i asked myself silently and looked up to him. he smiled. “no. of course not.” i answered and approached his bike. “this is good.”

he reached out and kissed me.

why am i doing this? because i like the guy heaps. sincerely. and he is happiest with his bike.

he started the motor and i hopped. ten minutes later and waiting for the traffic light to turn green, he pushed the glass cover of his helmet, turned to look at me and gave me a stationary kiss.

and you know what? it didn’t matter the helmet was restricting my shiny hair from making a show. it didn’t matter that the boots i was wearing was two-size bigger for my feet. it didn’t matter i find it weird to be wearing the kind of jacket i was wearing under a 30C heat. it didn’t matter the gloves have a piece of clothing painted with leopard skin (what the hell was she thinking when she bought those? all-black leather would have been way much better!).

all that mattered was that i can see he was happy. it showed in his eyes. and that made me feel so fucking good.

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