deo and the tarsier

deo was complaining a few days back.

he couldn’t understand why most of his friends keep on hooking him up with single girls who are either very serious with commitment or obsessed with settling down. for the first time in a very long time, he loves being single and not looking. he likes the feel of freedom of not having to think about anniversaries or meeting the parents or the motif or why she suddenly stopped talking when he told her he wanted to meet his buddies alone for a friday night out.

i kind of think while i wasn’t looking, deo probably took the wrong route and liked it. i find it strange to see him wanting and actually preferring to be single at 29. perhaps, like the single men in their 30’s, he found a secret and decided to stay mum about it. but really, doesn’t one think it is nice to have some nice, homey relationship at that age? it doesn’t need to be the i-will-wake-up-for-the-next-thirty-years-with-this-same-woman-in-bed-with-me kind of relationship. but something that’s a little stable and permanent. something that can make you think of the upcoming christmas and automatically factor her into the equation.

“why cannot these friends be like you?” he complained some more. “you do not give me dates. you never hook me up with anybody at all!”

“i don’t have any friends anymore.” i told him and giggled. “it is that simple really. who will i hook you up with? i am slowly but continuously running out of friends.”

“that is because you do not take good care of your friends.” he told me. really, i think differently. real friends do not need getting taken care of. friendship is not bloody charity, really. but alas, this is not the right time to argue with him about it. as far as i am concern, the ones that really matter are the ones that are still here. the rest, i don’t really give a fucking damn about them.

“you should tell them you like being single and uncommitted. like the tarsier.” i tipped him. of course, like most people, deo doesn’t have an idea what the fuck i was talking about. in my first bohol trip with zsolt, we took a different route to see the tarsiers. we rejected the idea of going to Loboc for the caged tarsiers so we went to Corella for the wild ones. there we met the “tarsier man” who got fascinated with this world’s smallest primate at age 7 and has studied everything about it since for the next 40++ years. while we went into the jungle to look for the tarsiers (he can smell them, i swear to G, he claimed he can), he gave us a not so brief background about what they are like.

it was so-so story telling and i could see zsolt getting a little bored with it until “tarsier man” came to the subject of mating. he said that tarsiers are naturally solitary and territorial. you wouldn’t see two tarsiers in one branch unless its mating period. now, the female will emit a high pitch sound to attract available and interested suitors. once the male finds a female he is interested in, they bang like crazy and in complete silence (man, that is never possible with us humans). once the male is done with the female, he kicks her out of his territory and the female goes away and take care of whatever baby will come out of it on her own.

i know i could have compared deo with something more parallel or more easily known to the public without me needing to explain it but that was what crossed my mind when we were talking. he said i am crazy. oh well, he knew that a long time ago.

“you have no idea how hard it is to convince them i am not looking for someone to settle down!” he said. “but oh well, of course you have no idea. you are very happy being not single these days.”

surprising this may sound, i really have not realized how transparent my state of happiness is to others. “choices, dear.” i told him.

but isn’t everything all about choice? you choose your happiness; happiness does not look for you. and in the case of the tarsier, and because he can get away with it, he can always kick the female out after sex.


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