wha the tequila + vodka + whisky said to my face

“you know a lot of people do not like you…” a staff of mine who recently got promoted as one of the supervisors who will be reporting directly to me drunkenly emphasized each word (at a company christmas party) as she gave me a hug. “but i like you. i love you. you know that, don’t you?”

but of course, every drunk person in the world love the other drunk person left in the world. that is a proven fact. i have heard “i love you’s” too many times from drunk people- just right before they either passed out or puked their brains out. it wasn’t flattering thing to hear; every drunk person in the world love the other drunk person they got stuck with as they are getting more wasted.

she had liquor more than she can handle. that, or she has underestimated my alcohol tolerance just because i do not drink beer and i work on the average 12 hours a day.

and though every drunk person in the world love the other drunk person left in the world to get more drunk with, drunk people rarely lie about the negative feelings as they often exaggerate the positive ones. a lot of my people do not like me.

of whether that makes me a terrible boss or not, now, there is a very large gray area there. and of course, of whether these people who do not like me are productive people or not, the tequila/vodka/whiskey didn’t get that far.

when i first took over the entire department of 30 people or so- not a lot of people liked it. i replaced a very popular boss; a boss loved by all of her staff they cried on her last day at work. and of course, they have always been told they are doing very well (which they aren’t) and that they are expert on their fields (which is most of the time untrue). so, anybody can only imagine how badly they must have been felt when they realized what they actually know when the spoon-feeding stopped. i couldn’t blame them. there have been instances in my early working years i have questioned management’s decision on who to promote and who should take over. i do not blame them either; i am just not the traditional type of manager. i just cannot manage people who cannot function with change.

what she said wasn’t shocking to me. nor does it matter, really. as i always tell them- they do not need to like me or like each other to work effectively together. getting too emotional at the workplace fucks things up; i would know. because i, too, was once emotional.

“you put too much value on your emotions. on how well you like or dislike someone you work with- may it be a colleague or your supervisor or me, your boss.” a boss i didn’t like (and still doesn’t, really) once told me way back my P&G days. “there is no place for that if you want to advance yourself up the corporate ladder.”

i didn’t agree with her; i strongly disagreed with her. for me, emotions and being emotional is essential to professional success. i wrongly thought and believed this because i was unable to differentiate being passionate from just being emotional.

so you see? i do know where they are coming from. i was there myself- a long time ago.

of course, i do not deny i am a difficult boss. but i wanted all of them to be successful enough that when they leave the company for a better opportunity, they actually have learned a lot compared to when they have started working with me.

of course, when bonuses seem harder to achieve and the boss is always pushing for more productivity, it is very difficult to see that. i do not blame them.

i could only hope they realize it early enough that they can still see it for what it is really worth.

as for my newly promoted supervisor, i do not believe for a moment she loves me. i do not believe for a moment that she likes me. but i can bet a month of my salary that she looks up to me and that she knows i am competent and that she knows that wherever she finds herself under my management- it is to make her CV way more interesting than the old one she had submitted in her HR201 file.

i know. because i was once like her. and i used to have a boss like me.

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