realization

breakup has never been so freaking public before facebook. when zsolt and i decided that it was time to take a break and reassess our priorities, i cried for the next six to eight hours and then wondered how on earth am i going to change my relationship status in facebook without people noticing it.

not that i care- what i do with my life is nobody’s business. but for the first time in my life, i was really hoping that this is one breakup i do not have to explain or justify (though, as one person pointed out- if you want to keep it private, then don’t go around advertising it in the web. he does have a point. but i am too heartbroken to care).

i really do not want to talk about it if talking about it means having to explain to people why we broke up. there is always seems to be a general notion that either one is or both are at fault. and it was not really about that. sometimes, shit just happens. and it doesn’t even need to make sense.

i did tell Jullen why we broke up simply because i just have to tell someone why. humanity is horrible at keeping secrets by themselves- and I am one of them. and perhaps, it was the need for assurance from her that what was done makes sense. of course it didn’t seem to look like it does but hey, what can one do? shit happens.

i had no regrets; it was an awesome ride. from Lembeh to Munich to Michigan to Vietnam- we travelled the world and had a blast. i never regretted any minute of it- he is an awesome guy and it was an awesome relationship- all 2 years and 9 months of it.

some day, i believe it will all make sense. for now, i know very well i did all i could.

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