no reason to go easy on campari

on my umpteenth glass of campari now and i honestly feel that i am still sober.

that is the good thing about campari, it doesn’t sneak up on me like vodka does. it is a little bit useless for the same reason, i guess, seeing as i am drinking to get drunk. history of major breakups taught me that little trick. all i need is one big cry and all i have to do to get there is get drunk.

why is it that i am always never ready for this?

i know they are right. i will pull myself out of this somehow, i always do. but i am not even thinking that far ahead. everything just hurts so much at the present and time is painstakingly slow at healing the wounds. there is no cheating around the process, which sucks, cause in almost everything else- there is always a shortcut.

i am almost tempted to see Dani right away. he always seems to know how to get me there.

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