moving on…

i do think, though i am not sure, i will be okay. though it is cliche to say that what does not kill us makes us stronger, it does hold some authentic value.

quite the contrary, the uncertainty of my future is still exciting to me. of course, if i have more authority to pencil the plot for it, i would have preferred it go the other way. but i have been awfully blessed and things i need, i was provided. and blessings i did not think i would need- Little Grape (who is currently in her seventh month in my womb!), for example- i got.

there is so much to be thankful for. and i would want to start on the fact that for all my eccentricities and my arrogance, i still do not lose sight of what is important to me. i am thankful for the unborn baby in my womb that gave me the maturity that i never thought i was capable. i would have not made a decision for someone else if the circumstance was different- i would have expected i am too proud for that. i am thankful i am carrying the child of the guy i deeply love and awfully care about- regardless of the future’s uncertainty.

there is so much to be thankful for. one of which is learning from my mistake. everything i have been through this year taught me one important fact: love is an independent event; it is not dependent on what the other can or cannot do. it is not influenced by what is or what is not there. you do not force your love on people; you let it nurture them to the extent they want to be nurtured.

i am not sure, but i do think, i will be okay. i am old enough to realize that things do not always happen the way we think we want it to. i do know that i am excited about the future- regardless of how bleak it seems to look at this point. i have my hope and its two little legs are kicking me in the stomach right now


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